Ever Wonder
by Dr. F. M. Obsesser
Summary: A collection of One-shots, ranging from dramatic to funny to drabble. Some are prompted by questions about the series. Could be any shoujo-ai couple from the series. Currently includes: Youko/Midori, Haruka/Yukino, Erstin/Nina, Chie/Shizuru and Chie/Aoi
1. Hormones

Disclaimer: I do not own Mai Hime/Otome  
Pairing: You tell me what pairing you think it is... I was shooting for a certain one but later realized a few couples work, so tell which one you think it is.  
Rating: T for suggestive things  
A/N: This one, suprisingly, was not prompted by a question but rather a random spree of ideas and words that became this... I hope you enjoy it!  
Thanks to: TwilightMoon7765 for beta-reading

* * *

"I really couldn't control myself, so it's not my fault: it's my hormone's fault." That's always been my excuse for that event. My forwardness, brilliance (though I argue that this is not an odd occurrence, I was outnumbered), and (apparently) strangeness (which I also argued, but I digress) on that day was all due to my lack of self-control over my hormones. That's how I've unfortunately been labeled; though I usually prove the label wrong, it still pops up in the most inconvenient times. Still, the excuse has served me well over the (forced) retellings and sometimes is worth all the teasing I receive for using it. After all, if I ever told the real reasons behind my actions, the teasing would only increase, and I certainly didn't want that to happen. So in the end, I just accepted the excuse they provided me and shut up.

I always begin by saying how, until that moment, it was a very normal day. Everything was routine and had been done before. It began as a beautiful, normal Sunday sunrise slowly progressing into a clear Sunday afternoon. The daylight was dwindling and flowing into a normal Sunday evening. Nothing new, no surprises, and absolutely no randomness was the exact definition of my day until around 5pm, where everything went exactly opposite as planned.

I was walking through the park, planning to go home and begin cooking, having everything ready by six thirty. That was the plan, and, of course, it was later thrown out the window for other priorities (this usually got me a snicker, the word choice of "priorities," but I usually pretend I didn't hear them. The word itself was the best word for the job and other choices i.e. desires, wants, etc. were not going to be used for obvious reasons). I recall the park as having a light spring breeze and the beginning sunset causing a multi-colored light show through the sky. For a reason unknown to me even now, I couldn't help but notice everything around me: the children playing on the swings, the friends hanging by the vending machines, and the mothers sitting on benches discussing whatever they discuss. Though it was only was five in the afternoon, the sun was reaching the horizon, planning to set in a mere hour. The shadows were playing with the kids as they helped each child measure how far he could jump off the swings. I wonder if the kids were trying to touch the shadows or if the shadows were trying to touch the kids… perhaps they met halfway. For whatever reason, I was in a philosophical mood, though that didn't last long after I saw her.

Glancing around at all the trees, I continued walking down the gravel path. Suddenly, as though something was out of place, I stopped and looked around. An orange color caught my eye in a sea of green. I focused on the spot and soon identified the orange to be a jacket, and the jacket to be connected a girl who looked about my age, who was leaning against the trunk of a large willow tree near the back of the park. She seemed to be fast asleep with her bag at her side and her head falling onto her shoulder. Her hair covered her face and was speckled with either grass or leaves, from the where I was standing it was hard to tell. One of her arms was positioned across her stomach while another was resting on the grass next to her. Though I couldn't make out her face, I was interested nonetheless. Why would she be here? She's must have been there for over an hour… what was she doing? She seemed to have no reason to be at the park. Why, I wondered, was she there? Was she waiting for someone? Where were they?

So though it pains me to say this, I ditched my stuff next to a nearby tree, took up a bench and made it my task to stare at her intently (cue more chuckles from my audience, at my expense naturally). I convinced myself that I would leave in a few minutes and go on home, considering it was almost six. I attempted to convince myself that I was only there to fulfill my curiosity about the situation and that I had no ulterior motives. This may have been so for a while, perhaps until I saw her face. For some reason, she moved and suddenly I could see her face. One thought ran through my mind that second: crap!

I stiffened. I really didn't expect to see her here, and to tell the truth? I didn't want her to see me staring at her like a lost dog. Though I say that I didn't want her to see me, it really was, looking back, the only thing I wanted; for her to recognize me, outside of school, as someone to care about, someone to notice; that was, sadly, my goal. Of course, I made sure that this was always left out of the retellings: it was not something that I want going around. But now that I recognized her, I was even more intrigued about why she was here at this time of the day. If I remember correctly, she lived quite near here (for some reason beyond me, I always get called a stalker when I say that I knew she lived near by). Why fall asleep here if your home was nearby? I just, sadly, kept watching.

By now, the park area was becoming more disserted. The mothers have left with their children, the shadows now owned the park, and the lights were just flickering on. Looking around, I noticed that a group of boys over by the vending machine, her, and I were the only ones left. The wind was no longer blowing, and the rustling of the leaves ceased. It was like time stopped for there was no change in the area for a few minutes. But time never stops, and per usual, it continued.

Something – whether it was good or bad, I'm still not sure—happened. The friends who were by the vending machine apparently took the initiative and started walking in the general direction of the girl. At first I thought it was just coincidence, but I was soon corrected. There was no doubt; they were walking towards her. I tried to convince myself that they were friends or that there was no issue to worry about. However, the longer I watched, the more I knew with certainty: these guys meant bad business. So I responded.

So that's how it came to this action, which I never expected of myself. My actions were completely justified. I mean, what can I do if she's sitting there, defenseless, almost asking for someone to advance on her? It's not my fault that my body has the sudden urge to make her feel safe and protect her until the end of time, naturally meaning that my course of action had to be this one. What can I do if others act? What _can_ I do but respond? I can't control hormones, other people's actions, my feelings… so really, it's not my fault, or at least, I'll convince myself that it isn't.

Sad, isn't it?

Well, I acted anyway, picking up my stride so I will be at the girl ten seconds before the guys. I am still amazed how I managed to not look at them once while I was walking towards the tree. I approached the tree and squatted down next to her. For the first time today, I realized, I was looking right at her. This would be a bad time for her to wake up with me staring at her right in the face and all…. Still, in a time of peril, I couldn't help admiring her beauty, impulses telling me to touch her face. Of course, once the thought came into my mind, it refused to go away. Only the repeated reminders of the boys (and how idiotically I was acting) got me to take my ideas and store them in the far corners of my mind (for later use, of course).

I noticed the group was coming closer, so I closed my eye, took a deep breath, and spoke. "Huh… so that's where you were all this time." I spoke as if I had the slightest idea of what I was doing, which definitely was not the case. I noticed that the group halted when they saw me go up to her and speak. By then, I was leaning down next to the smaller girl, desperately trying to wake her up: we had a better chance if we were both awake. I tapped her on the head a few times and spoke aloud. "Ah… she fell asleep again. Come on, wake up already." I tried to hide the nervousness and anxiety in my voice, acting as calmly as possible. I doubt it worked, because the boys somehow had made the decision to come up to us both. I pretended I didn't see them and picked up her bag and put it on my shoulder.

"How 'bout you ladies join us for a drink?" The tallest boy said arrogantly. He was over six feet tall, easily towering over me. He had a short cut hair and a shirt that was illegible but had a half-naked woman on the front and I wasn't sure that I wanted to know what was on the back. His friends were all relatively fit and I knew there was no way in hell I could win in a fight… yet I needed to get out of this, for her sake. Come on; think… what I could say to get of this mess….

It happened at the exact same moment; she woke up and I came up with an idea. She blinked a few times and everyone's attention was instantly on her. She looked around at the people huddled around her, let out a yawn, and then muttered something completely incoherent and incomprehensible. She seemed to be falling asleep again, so I spoke quickly, attempting to have her realize the severity of the situation. "You fell asleep again at the park. Come on, we're late."

She looked up at me and started to say something then got kind of drowsy again. I looked up at the boys, who were on edge. They looked between themselves and the girl who was slowly, but surely, waking up. Then, in my attempt to escape, I put my idea into action. I looked at the boys and said, "Sorry about this. We were going to meet at the park and then go home, but as you can see, she fell asleep again."

I quickly glanced at my watch for effect and continued, "Shoot. We're late. We were expected fifteen minutes ago." A pause, I started lifting her up. As a final thought, I turned around, back to the guys and said politely, "We got to hurry home so we'll have to take up your offer another time. Come on," I muttered as I finally pulled her up. We started to walk away, leaving the guys to themselves. I went to the tree and grabbed my stuff, adding it to my back along with her bag.

Together we walked out of the park, me supporting her on my shoulder. I was too scared to look back at the boys, afraid they were going to be following us or something. Not looking back, we could only move forward. As we were walking, she began to wake up. Slowly getting off my shoulder and walking on her own. However, she still was falling asleep mid-step, so I found it easiest just to drag her along with me. When we got to the first major intersection, I looked at her and asked where her house was. She point in the general direction and we walked.

I finally got the courage to look back and was relieved to find that the group was not following us. Until then, I didn't notice how fast I was walking out of fear, so we instantly slowed down. It was then that I realized that I was holding her hand and how soft and warm it was. Suddenly, as my age just hit me in the face, I turned red from the recognition that I was holding her hand. When we were nine or so this may have been acceptable, but at sixteen, it was no longer normal for two girls to walk hand and hand down a street together. A strong, awake voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"This is my house." She looked at me with a smile on her face. I let go of her hand, now knowing that she had obviously been awake for a while. Though my hand instantly missed the warmth, I mentally told it to deal with it.

Awkwardness felt the need to linger in the air, allowing a space in time that was filled with silence. Unsure of what to say, I scratched my head and attempted to end the day with a normal sounding phrase: "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

I should have known that by now "normal" was thrown out the window, and the response I should expect would be anything but my desired "normal". She delivered of course.

Though my listeners hate it and they just know something else must have happened, I always leave out the ending of this day in my retellings. To this day, other than her, nobody knows of anything past "I'll see you tomorrow," and I would love to keep it that way. I make no mention of her response, "Bye, my prince"; no mention of her bold action, her kissing me on the cheek; no mention of my very bright red face, which was no doubt emitting all my body heat. I never mention anything of the sort. It saves me a lot of teasing, blushing, and stuttering; the three things I would rather avoid if at all possible.

Then again, if the truth ever did come out, I would always have my (and the majority of the teenage population's) fall-back excuse: My hormones made me do it.

FINE


	2. Probability

Disclaimer: I do not own Mai Hime  
Pairing: Yukino/Haruka  
Rating: T for suggestive things or K+ if you don't pick up on the suggestive stuff  
A/N: numbers of the lesbian books to other romance books was taken from my (supposedly open minded) school library (btw, random book recommendation: "Keeping You a Secret" is brilliant) and Yukino's way of thinking is actually taken from my own when I'm freaking out about people I like. Also, I know I was saying how "stupid pocky" is coming out next... well, this one was finished first, so "stupid pocky" will probably be the next one out.  
Question was: how would Yukino appraoch the whole getting together with Haruka thing?  
This was chugged out in about an hour and a half, and got only a few read throughs for grammar, so please point out any grammar/spelling mistakes if you find them.  
Thanks! For my readers/guessers of the first story, the pairing: Chie/Aoi either during the beginning of Mai Hime or before the show. (that's what i was shooting for at least, but as Hashkorns pointed out, Erstin and Nina also work very well, pick your favorite)

* * *

25-75 chance.  
Not in her favor.

Or so Yukino figured it. If Haruka did like anyone, she would have a 25 chance of it being her. Haruka didn't know that many people, so she would be up there probability wise. Suddenly something struck Yukino. What if she didn't like anyone at the moment?

Down to 12.5.

If you assume that she likes someone, then there's the whole issue if she actually swings that way…. Though Yukino always assumed she did, she never had any proof and could be totally wrong.

Down to 6.25.

All those other issues… whether she would go anywhere with the relationship, if she has any experience in this sort of thing, and most of all, what's the probability of her not completely cutting off the entire relationship? There's always the chance that Yukino would ask and Haruka would look at her with a face of disgust and run away, or she would just back away like she did with Shiruzu: she shouted when she saw such a thing. Not to mention her lack of tolerance for anything odd, even though she did fit that condition all by herself.

The math was going against her and quickly. Yukino didn't even bother figuring the numbers.

The library, her second home, would certainly have the answer. It would be able to help her in such a time of need.

She slowly went over to an area of the library, trying not to be spotted or be assumed of going over there. Finally, after ducking behind a few bookshelves and pretending to read "The Encyclopedia of all Things Paper," she reached the place she wanted to be: the romance fiction area. She did an instant stock of actually lesbian fiction numbers comparative to other romance fiction, with help of the computer. She was disappointed. Three books, really only two with teens, comparative to over seventy. Math had struck again.

Yukino walked outside, looking for a place to stop and think. Finding a bench, she sat, held her hand in her hands, and began to think. However, as hard as she tried to think of Haruka's body language or attempt to measure the way she acted, she kept having daydreams of hugging or kissing or…. Yukino blushed red. This was NOT the time or place for thinking such things. Besides, she shouldn't be thinking of them in the first place. It was morally wrong. Haruka probably thought that too, anyway, so there was no point in even wishing for such things.

Yukino got up with the intention of going back to the student council room. After recognizing that Haruka would be there and she definitely couldn't deal with that right now, she instead walking towards the mountain path, thinking a nature hike will help her clear her mind.

Of course it didn't. It got worse. With no pressure of society's watchful eyes, her daydreams got even worse. As much as she wanted to think of the positives, her brain mocked her as she imagined such immoral things. "It's not possible." "She would hate you if you did anything." "She's the mover and shaker, you wait for her to act, and if she doesn't, too bad."

The mocking hurt. She couldn't take it anymore. She snapped

Argh! Stupid brain! Don't measure the impossibilities, don't show me daydreams, and don't think about how it's a fantasy! Make it work! What's the use of have a superhuman brain if it doesn't work the way you want it to!? Find a way! Find a way to think positively! It can't be that the entire world is making fun of you, laughing at your pain! I love her, I've admitted that, but why don't you, stupid brain, figure out if she likes me?! Questions, questions, figure it out already!

Her body language, does it give anything away?! No, she's too wild to do anything that could possibly be interpreted.

What about her speech?! Same as prior.

When talking to her, where does she look, what of her facial expressions? Usually a distorted face of anger at Shizuru, sometimes a face thrown aback at whatever mistake she made again… with me always there to correct it, my unofficial job.

Anything that implies any sort of relationship want from you? Nothing I can think of.

Contact, what kind? Minimal, if any at all, she sometimes grabs my hand, but that's about it.

Suddenly breaking out of her inner conflict, fury calming into a break down, Yukino fell to her knees, looking up at the sky. Wondering how she suddenly made it to the middle of the forest, she leaned against a tree, holding her knees to her chest. She took a deep breath. Maybe it wasn't to be, maybe it was just a simply fantasy…. Yukino sighed as she thought about her daydreams never coming true. Realizing the only pleasure she could gain with Haruka was through day dreams, she closed her eyes and began to imagine, speaking out loud.

"Haruka would be storming through the forest looking for me, wondering where the hell I went. She wouldn't have any of those guards she hires with her because she was looking for me and was worried about me. There would be nobody in these woods but us."

She shivered from the pleasure the thought brought.

"She would eventually, come across me, finding me here, saying this tale. Coming to sit next to me, she would look at me incredulously and stare. I would love every second of it, knowing that she would only look at me that way. Then after expressing her worry and scolding me, I would become subservient as I always do, hanging my head. She would feel hurt and what she had done and hold me close. Then she would say how she was so worried about me being gone…" Yukino parted her lips. "And then she would kiss me."

"You really want me to do that?"

Yukino's eyes flew open and stared at the Haruka standing in front of her. Her first though was to turn bright red and then attempt to scramble away. Her body didn't want to move though. It sat plastered to the ground, and noticing she couldn't get away, Yukino hung her head in shame.

"You can run away now or scream at me. I'm fine with it." Yukino said these words solemnly, not noticing how Haruka's face was a bit red. At this comment, however, she looked hurt. She leaned down, sitting next to Yukino.

She spoke words that would end up deciding her and Yukino's future, "that's not how the story goes though."

Yukino looked at a smiling Haruka, who continued, "I believe I'm supposed to stare first. Check" She said with a cheeky grin.

"Next, I'm to express my sorry."

"Worry," Yukino quickly corrected, without thinking. Then she looked at the ground, avoiding all eye contact.

"Right," Haruka smiled softly, "worry. But I think we're past that. The next step was… let's see…. Help me out here, will you?"

Yukino shook her head furiously: this was a teasing beyond teasing. It was painful and her dirty thoughts seeping in through the cracks of the mental barrier she tried to make.

Huruka shrugged, "Guess I'll have to skip the next part and skip to the end."

Taking instant notice of what "the end" was, Yukino looked up at Haruka, who was coming closer to her.

"This was the ending, right?"

Yukino wanted to shake her head "no" and say "you're supposed to hate me because this is wrong. It's impossible," but she couldn't because she didn't want to reject such an opportunity. Somehow, she managed to nod her head.

With that, Haruka leaned forward and let their lips touch, making the entire world around them melt.

They broke apart within a few seconds, and cursing her ever thinking brain, Yukino spoke, ".001"

"What?" An incredulous Haruka asked.

"That was the probability that you liked me and you wouldn't mind kissing me." Yukino quietly replied, wishing she had just kept silent.

Haruka was quiet for a couple seconds, and then shrugged. "Odd, I calculated it to be 99 if given the opportunity."

Yukino chuckled and began to speak, "You apparently used a diff-"

Cut off by a kiss, Yukino's brain quickly shut up for once and the couple was left to hugging, kissing and… whatever makes Yukino blush so. Still, her brain did get the last word when the two broke the kiss in favor of breathing.

Apparently, even statistical impossibilities come true when dealing with Haruka.

Fine


	3. Stupid Pocky

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Otome  
Alternative title: Betcha Can't Have Just One  
Pairing: Nina/Erstin  
Rating: T for the whole clothes thing  
A/N: I'm sorry about the rushed feeling of this oneshot, and I asmit that I actually like the mini thing with Nao more than the actually sotry but I hope you like it anyway.  
Dedication: I was inspired for this one-shot by the excess amount of pocky I eat and my horrible habit of getting bored when eating a mint, ending with it falling half out of mouth. Also, though Shizuru and Natsuki also fit this setting very nicely, I choose Nina and Erstin for the sole reason that kittykatloren somehow thinks that Sergay and Nina look good together. Psh. I plan to prove her wrong. Her writing is great but she has clear issues with getting together with guys who might as well be your father, or, in Sergay's case, your adopted father. Sergay/Nina is a big no-no in my book. Feel free to flame me if you think otherwise, I always enjoy a good laugh. So after my little rant, I restate (though I wonder if I said this in the first place?) that this is for kittykatlorean and her fetish with older guys (though she denies that it is a fetish, we still believe she will end up with an older guy and please, no rants on how it is perfectly acceptable to be much older. I have no issue with age difference, just Sergey and her adamancy on the couple). For you, kittykatlorean!

Warning: This is actually possible. I tested it out. Beware of hanging pocky! Oh, and Nina may be a bit OOC, I'm sorry. Not used to writing with her.  
Setting: Any time before Erstin went totally ballistic.

* * *

Stupid pocky.

Why did it have to be that the most wonderful snack in the world had the potential to be the most tempting? Was that the new trade off these days? Wonderful… tempting… evil…. Is that how it worked? It would explain a lot of things, like the fact that Erstin could not stop staring at the pocky stick hanging out of a sleeping Nina's mouth.

She really shouldn't imagine what her dirty little mind was picturing. It wasn't right or at all proper. It was taboo and that would only make things harder later…she didn't want to think about that. She would just shove it in the farthest corner of her mind and not think about that, thinking about pocky was much better.

However, it seemed that this particular piece of pocky felt like questioning her sanity. Permanently.

Honestly, this was not her intent when walking into the room. She expected to simply retrieve her books and then leave. No Nina. No Pocky. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just walk in, get the books and walk out. Was that too much to ask?

Apparently so, for it seemed as though until she did something about it, she would not be able to relax.

She made a quick decision. She would just bit off the end of the pocky, for a small taste, and then leave the room. That was she could satisfy her craving and rid herself from the temptation. It was a win-win situation.

Awkwardly, Erstin stepped closer to Nina, until she was right beside her. Nina was lying back on her chair; head leaned up, pocky sticking out of the left side of her mouth, almost touching her breast. Was she asking to be kissed?

Erstin shook her head to rid herself of such thoughts. Pocky, not kissing, was why she was so close to Nina right now. She leaned down so her head was close to Nina's and hesitantly leaned forward to take bite out of the pocky.

Not to say that it was easy to take a bite without waking Nina up. On the contrary, actually. It was impossible to touch Nina or hold her still, for then she would definitely wake up. She couldn't hold the pocky, because her hands were shaking and that would rip the pocky out of Nina's mouth, which would take the fun and the intense rush out of the game (for it really was a game, after all. Though Erstin wouldn't admit it, the purpose of biting the pocky was the intense rush of doing something forbidden by society, to be so rash…. Not that she would ever say anything of the sort: she was supposed to be the shy one after all). She could just take a bite, because her head would definitely go…there. Erstin once again blushed at the thought. Oh how she would love that feeling, yet it wasn't to be.

So after, much consideration of how to go about the actually eating, Erstin softly used her teeth, to lift the pocky up, and then scooped it up with her tongue and took a bite.

It was absolutely delicious. Having been bitten off, the other part of the pocky fell back to hanging out of Nina's mouth. It seemed to be waiting for the next bite. Tempting her, the end stuck out undeniably for the purpose of mocking her.

Erstin quickly walked away from Nina, knowing that if she stayed much longer she would succumb to temptation and want another bite. Another bite of pocky, not another bite of Nina… though that may taste good too…. Stop! Get books! Leave room now before you start thinking again!

She got as far as the door before she looked back. There was still plenty of pocky sticking out of Nina's mouth before she touched her lips. One more bite would be no problem at all. Besides, the pocky was really good. It wasn't as though she would kiss Nina and there was no harm in wanting a little bite of pocky, right?

Right.

Walking over, Erstin repeated the same process, this time coming within two inches of Nina's mouth before taking a bite of the pocky. Somehow, she noticed something different this time around, like how Nina had a smile on her face. That was definitely not there before. Before she had time to react and take her mouth off of the pocky, she felt lips on her own. She was somehow kissing Nina! How the hell did that happen!?

Erstin quickly jumped back and stared at an open-eyed, amused Nina. She tried to make a quick sprint to the door but was stopped by a hand on her wrist. Nina had grabbed her. She must want an explanation. Nina must hate her; she was even giving her that look. The one that screamed "what the hell were you thinking?"

"How long?" Erstin quietly asked, keeping her eyes glued to the floor.

Somehow, in the intense atmosphere, Nina cracked a smile. "Since you came in the door."

Erstin thought that she must have blushed furiously, though she couldn't be sure. Nina was awake for the entire time? Crap! "So… what exactly…"

Nina no longer had a smile on her face. In fact, it seemed as though she was sad. She frowned, "I'm sorry. I must have made you uncomfortable. I really shouldn't have."

Erstin looked confused. What did Nina do that was so bad? They kissed and Erstin really didn't mind that in the slightest, so….

Then it hit her. Until that moment in time, Erstin was positive that she took too big a bite and accidentally kissed Nina. In reality, Nina took a bite at the same time and kissed her. But, if Nina kissed her… that meant that….

"I didn't mind!" Erstin said suddenly, making Nina stare at her in disbelief.

Awkward silence filled the room.

Nina then got up from her chair, standing right in front of Erstin. She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close so there was a small space between her and the smaller girl. She smiled and began, "So… want another bite?"

Erstin blushed at the contact and the boldness of the other girl. She looked up and smiled. "Maybe just one more."

* * *

Nao made a face. Did they really have to end with such corny lines? She pushed herself off the wall where she had been listening for the last ten minutes. It was her job to look after her little Nina after all, and eavesdropping was just a very convenient way to do that.

She started to walk away before an evil little thought came into her mind. Nao walked back to the room and opened the door wide enough that anyone walking down the hall could clearly see the make out session that was going on. And it was quite a hot make out session.

Nao raised an eyebrow when she heard a clear moan. How long exactly did those two crave for each other? She shrugged and walked away from the gaping door, waiting for the reaction she would get in a minute or two.

When she just turned the corner, she heard what she was waiting for.

"What in the world are you two girls doing!!"

"Miss Maria!"

"You two get those clothes back on right now and come with me!"

Nao took a deep breathe.

Ah, the smell of success.


	4. It's Hard to Watch Her Cry

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Otome  
Pairing: Erstin one-sided  
Rating: T for Erstin language and anger  
A/N: My first drabble... I think this is the shortest thing I've written in years... oh well. I hope you like it. It's more depressing than my usual writing but I hope it's alright.  
Dedication: Unfortunately, the stars had decided it would be best if kittykatloren challenged me to write a Sergay/Nina pairing in a positive light... I agreed as long as Sergay died and there wasn't any kissing or actual contact between them. She reluctantly agreed. Anyway, this is the result of her challenge and I do encourage all Shoujo-ai fans to consider the possibilities that Erstin could have to comfort Nina... sigh maybe that will be what I write next... consolation sex anyone?  
Warning: Erstin is a little... crazy, but I liked how it ended up working out.  
Setting/Question: What if Sergy died (woot!)? Nina's reaction? Erstin's?

* * *

It's hard to watch her cry.

_My_ Nina curls up for hours in a corner, crying about _him_. She won't speak to anyone, look at anyone. Her eyes are always glistering with tears, her mouth never moving away from a frown and her once-confident composure collapses into a withering pile of self pity.

Her strength is gone. Her will is gone. I long ago started to worry if maybe even her soul was gone and how I could get it back… (I refused to continue those lines of thought for they brought up ideas that would be best to save for one who loves me). Everything that I always admired was fading away, leaving me. She's completely different now that he's gone. I hate him for that.

It gets harder knowing who she was crying for.

She shouldn't have bothered with him in _that_ way in the first place. He was too old, and her adopted father for hell's sake! (Christ/God had been thrown out long ago, replaced by Hell, a more comforting place of pain) He should have been a father and nothing more. But no. He couldn't do that. He had to barge in and completely ruin her life, control her, be her "everything." He had to come and take her away from me, who, until that moment, was her most precious person. Not anymore.

And really, it was his own stupidity that brought about his death. Any common halfwit knows that blindly walking into an old building is not a good idea. Of course, I can't point this out to her and call him anything bad: she would get upset beyond belief. I would lose her… though part of her has already been taken.

It's hardest to know I couldn't do (or couldn't have done) anything.

My say meant nothing anymore. Once he was on the phone or she was reading a letter from him, I could be dying, and she wouldn't care (perhaps a _slight_ exaggeration but I don't care anymore). She was gone to me, and it was his entire fault. But I couldn't intrude or tell Nina to stop it or castrate him (my personal favorite) or anything because she was in "love," apparently. I couldn't butt in anymore. It was beyond my control.

She fell in love with him...and then he left.

Stupid love! Why did she have to fall in love with him?! Now he's gone, and she's here, and she's depressed, and I can do nothing to help the one I love most. I want her to love me; I've always wanted her to love me. I want her to say that she loves me and that bastard of a father can go fuck himself. But she won't say that. She'll just cry, reminding me that my love is unrequited and probably always will be.

So what am I to do?

I know what to. I always have.

I sit down next to her and cry.


	5. The Test

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime/Otome/Zwei (I can't state which one because it kinda gives it away...)  
Pairing: guess!  
Rating: K+ for minimal things and just in case  
A/N: I'm not really sure how this will be taken because it's kinda "you love it or you hate it" but I hope that it's the primer. I like the ending, and I think it's quite good, but I think some parts may not flow so well, which is partly due to the fact that half of it was written on a completely day. But, nevertheless, I hope you find it enjoyable.  
Dedication: This is for Hashkorns, requesting another guess-the-couple thing. It seems like I have a liking to first person ambiguous pairings, so maybe another one of these soon. Next, though, should be a Chie/Aoi pairing, just because Chie is awesome like that.  
Alternate titles: "Denial" "When It Comes Down To It..."  
Setting/Question: What if (insert name here) was actually totally in love with (insert name here)? Complete denial or...

* * *

It's kinda crazy when your whole life gets thrown upside down.

Note the word "thrown". AKA not my doing. I would have much rather she never walked into my life, causing this so-called throwing of worlds. I wonder if she does it for sport? Not that it really matters in the end: I'll still be crazy about her even then.

And though I never really wanted this, I find it hard to argue with those love magazines I find stashed away in the library: it really is the small things that get to you. The way she seems to smile just at you when you pass the hall, the way she hugs you just to get you worked up, the way she manages to break the ice when no one else has. It's odd the way…"love"… works.

Not to say I'm in love. I'm NOT in love with a girl. Of course not, how preposterous. I already have my life all planned out and it does NOT involve loving this girl and falling heads over heels for ever little thing she does. Nope. Not a bit. Not for a millisec-

"Hey, you okay?"

Her voice breaks me out of my reverie. I look up at her worried face and feel the urge to comfort her and reassure her. Not love! It's something friends would do.

"I'm fine, thanks," I reassure her with a smile.

She smiles back. I melt… from the heat of the room, of course.

(Different day)

Having been broken out of my reverie, I look down at my desk to see what I should be doing. Right…test next class, which I am totally unprepared and really needed to study for. Why I need to study? I mean, I'm supposed to be the best student in the class. My excellence is expected by now. But that has become impossible as of late.

See, she always sits up in the front, being the smart, studious girl she is. Her head, therefore, is often right next to the notes that I should be writing down and should have in my notebook: "should" being the key word, of course. So, being easily distracted by her, I have little to no notes for this unit, which would give me little to physically study.

But of course, I was spared. She gave me notes – handwritten with all her little color-coded methods which I spent a good hour staring at, studying the ways she draws her "i"s with little open dots and the "z"s with a slash in the middle, all perfectly neat – to study with. Naturally, I never got around to studying the notes; for I was too busy wondering why the hell she would bother making such a thing for _me_, spending so much time to make it so wonderful. Oh well, another mystery left unsolved. It has become one of many involving her.

Which may lead some into another area entirely: if I had the notes, why didn't I study? That is a very good question that I may not have the answer to at the – wait. Right. I stayed up thinking of her, wondering what she was doing that very moment.

This really is getting out of hand: too much thinking of her and too little worrying about the rest of my life. My studious ways, which I used to focus on perfecting some technique or math equation, are now being used to stare at her features: the way she smiles at me when everyone else is doing something else, her light laugh that can lift any cloud from my head, and ever-so-charming way that she manages to make me laugh over nothing.

…I seriously need to get another hobby.

Wait, "hobby"?! God, I need a hobby NOW; staring at your friend in complete desire is not a hobby. It's just creepy!

Stop stupid brain! Stop thinking of her, stop thinking of any obscure fantasy, and stop this insanity, this so-called "love"!

Which it most certainly is not. I repeat, not. I am not in love at all, simply going crazy: two very different things.

Think test, think test, don't think about her….

My mind tries to think about the test and instead floats to her as per norm, and the butterflies, ever-present in my stomach, go berserk again. Darn test messing with my stomach.

I hear my name and look up suddenly, noticing a pair of very upset eyes in front of me. She maintains a pout, "You weren't listening to me."

Crap. I'm caught. I was about to give a cheeky response when I noticed her hands. Not that they look unusual or anything: they are just as petite and gentle looking as always. No, rather the proximity of her hands to my hands is getting to me. I swear, they are like, two centimeters from my hands. How they got there, I have no idea, but there they are and I have no idea what to do.

Apparently, she does. She grabs my hands, picking them off the desk, and holds them in front of her face. The whole action jars me, and I'm sure I have an absolutely blank face on because she says, "Are you alright? You look at little red…."

"A little" is probably an understatement. I feel like a fried tomato and probably look like one too. I smoothly stutter out, "I'm… I'll be fine."

Her face demonstrates a look of concern, giving my hands a quick squeeze before letting them go. "Fine," She says, resuming her pouting face. "If you don't want to tell me, that's okay. But that won't get you out of trouble for not listening to me."

Shoot. I was hoping that she would forget about that. Despite her gentle nature, she could be quite cruel when angry. Putting on a look of despair, I quickly try to divert the subject by saying, "I think she," pointing in a rather ambiguous direction, "called your name."

She narrows her eyes at me and then lets out a sigh, walking away from me with a quick wave over her shoulder. I swear I hear her muttering, "I'll get her for this later."

Is it only me who takes that with a sexual innuendo?

Shit! It's happening again! I'm taking every little thing she does – body language, speech, ways she looks at me – and tearing it apart, trying to find proof of her liking me _that_ way.

Not that I care, but, you know, it would be good if I knew these things.

The teacher walks in, ending the class' frantic discussion. Within seconds, the entire class is silent, anxiously awaiting the test. I calm down by reminding myself that the first portion is "true-or-false," a section where there are no in-betweens, no technicalities that get involved, no try-and-fake-its, or any chances to duck out of it. It's yes, or it's no, and it's that simple. You're prompted, and you give an answer. It helps that it almost guarantees me a fifty.

The test being passed to me, I was about to head to the first question when I felt a pair of gazing eyes upon me. Looking up, I catch her eyes across the room and smile at her. She smiles back.

Cue the butterflies, with the test clearly having nothing to do with them.

She turns away from me and back to her test, reminding me that I have a test as well that I probably should be working on. But no, I just keep staring at her back, the test being the least of my worries. I'm just… I'm so… so…. NO! I'm NOT!

I'm so indisputably, absolutely, without a doubt, irrefutably, undeniably NOT in love with her!

Forcing myself, I defiantly turn back to my test and, without even looking at the first question, circle FALSE and move on to question number two.


	6. Let the Teasing Begin

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime  
Pairing: implied Chie/Aoi and Youko/Midori  
Rating: T for language and sexual implications... i think?  
A/N: I know I said that the next one-shot would be "The Flip Side", the opposite POV for "The Test" but I won't be able to finish it until after exams, and that's another week. So instead of not posting for another week, I thought it best to at least post this, though it may not be as good nor amusing as my others. I hope it's bearable all the same, and I promise that "The Flip Side" will be out next weekend.  
Warning: This is what exam week + boring history notes + lots of sugar does to me

Pre-Mai Hime: Youko overhears an embarrassing conversation and plans to confront Chie about it

* * *

"So that's how it's done!" A deep male voice exclaimed astounded.

"Wow Chie, you know so much. How do you know all this stuff?" It sounded like a younger boy this time, maybe even in middle school

A clearly female voice responded, "Aw, you know, practice makes perfect…and I don't mind practicing on Aoi all day."

A smartass added, "And all night."

A round of laughter rang out in the room. Outside the door, however, Youko took in a sharp intake of breath, simply amazed at Chie lack of embarrassment.

True, it wasn't her business much, but she had walked past the classroom about seven minutes ago when a male voice clearly had asked with vigor, "So how do we get our girls to moan?"

Unsurprisingly, Youko had froze on the spot and had turned her head toward the door, not only shocked that someone had asked such a question, but also curious as to who would respond. To her amazement, a girl's voice had begun to speak.

So for the next seven minutes, Youko had glued herself to the spot, overhearing the conversations: for scientific purposes only of course. She must admit though, she had learned a lot that she would be sure to record.

She began to hear the conversation winding down, so Youko planned to take action with the goal of having Chie, for once, get flustered. It felt nice to have blackmail on the gossip queen.

She got off the chair she had been sitting in until now and knocked on the door. It instantly got quite inside the room.

Chie came to the door, mentioning for the other boys to remain silent.

"May I help you?" She nervously asked the nurse in front of her.

Youko took a deep breath, "I need to talk to you, would you please come with me?"

Chie gave her a forced carefree smile. "Of course." She stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her, and walked after Youko.

Arriving at the nurse's office, Youko made sure that there was no one in any of the beds and no meetings for the next thirty minutes. Having done so, she motioned Chie to a chair and locked the door.

A confused Chie lifted an eyebrow as Youko sat in front of her. "What's up?"

Youko prepared herself, trying not to smile at the teasing that was sure to come. She began, "So, let's start small, how is your girlfriend?"

Chie, obviously not expecting such a question, countered, "What are you talking about?"

Youko turned away from her desk and looked right at Chie. "I overheard you talking to a group of boys about girlfriends while I was walking down the hall."

Chie froze up, yet she said nothing. Playing it cool, huh?

Youko continued, "And you seemed to talk with confidence, so I assume you talk from experience."

An outlet. An unfavorable one, but an outlet all the less: Chie took it. "Yeah, an experience of boyfriends."

The game continued, "So why talk to boys?"

"Giving them insider advice." It was working, Chie was safe.

" 'Advice,' huh?" It wasn't over just yet.

"Yeah, just basic stuff, you know, like-"

Chie was cut off by a smiling Youko, "like 'how to make a girl moan'?"

Cue the blushing. "I have NO idea what you're talking about."

"You don't?" the chance to redeem yourself is here… if not, all you have is corners.

"No." I'll take corners.

"Interesting…" So be it.

Chie wanted the game to stop before she got stuck in what she was saying, "Can I go now?"

Youko agreed, "Very well."

Chie got up quickly to run out the door, yet she was stopped by, "One last thing though."

It couldn't get much worse. "Shoot," she replied.

"How is your girlfriend Aoi doing?"

Losing her patience, Chie blurted something quickly out, "oh, she's fine, fine… why?"

A cloth of silence covered the room.

Youko smiled. "You do realize that you just admitted you have a girlfriend, right?"

Noticing her mistake, Chie stomped towards the door, away from the teasing cat. "Just don't tell her."

"Tell her what?" Youko replied innocently.

Anger getting the better of her, Chie threw out, without thinking, an "Oh, screw it." She opened the door, about to go out when she heard the teasing again. "Chie dear."

"What?" She viciously asked.

"Don't you mean 'screw her'?"

"Shut up."

Youko swiveled around on her chair, looking back at the computer screen on her desk. Well that had been fun, she thought as she chuckled to herself. Only one thing was left.

Reaching for the phone, Youko called Midori: time to try out some of Chie's tips.


	7. The Flip Side note:goes with The Test

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime/Otome/Zwei (I can't state which one because it gives it away...)  
Pairing: guess! (opposite POV from The Test so obviously the same couple... hopefully I defined it more here)  
Rating: K+ for implied sexual stuff and just in case  
A/N: Okay, first of all, I managed to update this by the end of the weekend so I'm happy about that. You actually have "Sailor Moon" to thank for it, since I got so bored watching some of the episodes and the music kinda inspired me and well, yeah, I wrote! Anyway, sorry about the OOCness of the narrator and slight inconsistency in the style: it was written over many days (parts written weeks before) and I was in very different moods therefore leading to slight (hopefully only slight) changes in the narrator. once again, sorry 'bout that.  
Dedication: Sailor Moon repetitive-ness!  
Alternate titles: "Ramblings of a Lover" "The Lover, The Madman, and The Poet all have something in common..."  
Setting/Question: What was the opposite POV like from the Test?  
Warning: to get some of the story PLEASE READ THE TEST FIRST!! There are direct parallels not only in storyline but in symbols and I tried very hard to have a somewhat deeper connection between the two (whether I succeeded, please let me know!)

REQUESTS ARE BEING TAKEN!! Please let me know if you have a couple you want me to write about.

* * *

Sometimes I wonder: who knows? Who has succeeded in figuring out my secret, my hidden obsession?

Though now that I think about it, my secret isn't exactly undiscoverable… more like it's hidden in plain sight. It's relatively easy to notice, if you're looking for it. If searching for proof, it can easily be found: I give myself away more often than I really should with all the staring, undivided attention, and of course all the "accidental" brushings.

Yeah, I'm desperate for her to finally figure out who I am, but I'm also just as scared of other people finding out. It's quite a dilemma: I wish so badly that she would figure it out so that I don't have to go forward with a declaration that I'm actually more forward than I need to be, but then, since I'm scared of others finding out, when the topic comes up casually, I attempt to brush it off and admonish myself for being so forward.

I sometimes think that it's a miracle that I haven't been found out… or is it perhaps… a curse?

No one, as far as I know, realizes my love yet, despite all my cues. Of course, there is the possibility that a few, or even all, of my classmates know and they just aren't saying anything about it. Maybe it's become common knowledge, and I'm the only one freaking out about it. But I doubt that all of my classmates would keep silent this long: it's not in their nature.

So I think I can safety conclude that either a few people know and just don't care/feel like bringing it up, or no one knows. Either way, all that matters is that she, the object of my unfaltering affection, probably hadn't come to realize how much I like her… love her, and therefore, absolutely no progress of our relationship will be made in _that_ direction.

But I can deal with that: my love would probably end up unrequited anyway, so no rush to the inevitable rejection. Her not knowing still allows me to stare at her and make up excuses for why, and this way no dreaded awkward pauses will linger when we talk. I'll just never prompt a question of any sort, leaving there no answer.

If one never asks, the question will always remain unanswered. As long as no definite answer is received, I can still hope for a fifty percent chance, a small chance, that she, despite all my beliefs, will accept me, my love, and really does like me that way back. And though those dreams bring me into a state of ecstasy, the other option scares me away.

If I ever ask, then there is a chance, a large chance that she denies my request and rejects me, laving any chance to waver away for all eternity. It's definitely better to not ask than to ask and have than my fifty percent move down to zero.

Better not to risk it. It's better to just stare at her from afar and fantasize. Yes… it's the best option.

Besides, my fantasies are satisfying enough.

I glance over at her, the girl in the back sitting in her seat and looking very rattled. Unaware of her current thought process, I approach her and ask, "Hey, you okay?"

She suddenly looks up at me and her eyes come into focus; she's back in reality.

"I'm fine, thanks," she says. She flashes me a smile, which I return full heartedly.

I begin to speak, "That's good because you…" I drift off realizing she isn't paying attention to me in the slightest, which is probably a good thing because my statement of worry could be questioned. Worrying frantically over a person simply spacing out, concerned about their well-being while having a test next class, is not friend-like behavior. Then again, a lot of my actions are not exactly friend-like, more like lovers….

Don't go there brain. Fantasizing when she's right in front of you may lead to horrible consequences, like actually trying to kiss her. Though it would feel nice, this is neither the time nor the place.

When would be the place then? Cornering her while changing? That would get a few funny looks. Try and come on when we're alone? Issue there: we're never alone, mainly since she's such an overachiever and pushes herself so hard. At night? Don't even go there.

Unfortunately, I begin to think of it anyway, staring off into space imaging things we could do at night… when we're alone… and I moan and she moans and…

ARGH!

Think of other things NOW!

Frantically attempting to keep myself in check, I look around for something else to pay attention to. My eyes land on the notes in front of her, the notes I wrote out for her over the weekend. Actually, no, I lie. My eyes don't drift to the notes but actually what fingering them: her hands.

It wouldn't have been so distracting if she hadn't unknowingly been drawing shapes and stroking the paper back in forth in such a manner that, if I didn't know better, I could have deemed as sexual. Around and around with her smooth hands, slowly tracing out the letters while having a slightly erratic breathing pattern, eyes glazed and mouth open and…

I think if she licked her lips, I would have gone insane.

Luckily she didn't and I didn't go completely nuts. Still, I stare at her hands, trying to keep my mind out of the gutter (with little success) and think of more normal things like… I wonder how soft her skin is?

Great job, _perfectly_ normal.

Still, I could get away with this one. I mean, it's much more normal to say, "Just curious how your hands felt" and then talk about moisturizer than to say, "I was wondering what it was like to kiss a girl because, you know, I was totally, like, _inspired_ by that Katy Perry song."

Sure, though neither is great, the hands one is an improvement.

So I go with it, excuse at the ready. I lay down both my hands over hers as though I was trying to make a point by throwing my arms down and they just happened to land on hers. Oops, what a coincidence.

But now actually concentrating on her hands, I can't help but note that they are soft. You would think with all the fighting she does, she would have tough, broken skin, almost like a guy, but she doesn't. Soft and almost gentle in a way that usually is only seen in rare moments of pure kindness. Her hands are so contrasting to most of her exterior shell that I find myself stroking them and becoming purely intoxicated.

Apparently the touching of my hands breaks her out of her spacing moment and she looks up at me. I pull back my hands (just about three centimeters away from hers) and try to fake looking upset. "You weren't listening to me," I say.

She begins staring at my hands and turning red. Did she catch me? Well, she isn't saying anything so may as well make use of it. I swear, touching her hands again was purely luck.

I grab her hands and pulled them towards me. They smell good too.

"Are you alright? You look a little red…." I love playing innocent.

Her face, now as red as a freshly painted barn, manages to stutter out, "I'm… I'll be fine."

"Be fine"? What's wrong? Is she okay? Well… she's not telling me anything so I'll just have to assume she'll tell me later. "Fine," I reply in probably a very bratty way. "If you don't want to tell me, that's okay. But that won't get you out of trouble for not listening to me."

She looks like a deer caught in headlights. She cutely spins around wildly and points at a random person telling me that they called my name. We both know it's a lie. But hey, considering my lie, it's not so big.

I walk away thinking about how I would, if we were going out (I can only dream), I would say, "I'll get her for this later," loud enough that she would hear and say back, "I'll be waiting."

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

I start walking back to my chair when I'm uncharacteristically (I've been doing that a lot today) struck by a flash of boldness. I'll go and tell her right now how I feel about her and then I can say my witty line.

Gathering up all of my lost courage, I spin around on my heels to go tell her what I really thought about her, about our relationship. I have it all thought out in my head: beginning with the exploration of our relationship and defining what it is now, then pushing it forward with intimacy to see how she reacts, then maybe being so bold as too….

Oh gosh, I think I just made myself blush.

Gaining confidence with each step (each consisting of about three inches), I walk towards her chair… indirectly of course. I stop to talk to people along the way, making it seem a natural progression to her… I'm always pulled to her anyway, so it wouldn't matter if I tried to avoid the confrontation: I could always be trapped in our room if worst came to worst (though "worst" itself could be a good thing if you get my drift…).

Almost there… four feet away and I'll be there, reaching my goal, gaining my desired. Just about there…

The teacher walks through the door yelling to put away our notes and get to our seat.

It's that just dandy? Here I am, having all the courage I could ever muster, two feet away from my goal and the stupid teacher walks in with the dumb test that CRAP!, I haven't studied for.

This seriously isn't my day.

Defeated, I walk back to my seat and plop myself down in the most ladylike manner possible to "plop," and I await my expected impeding doom.

With the paper thrown in front of me and any possible good grade demolished by my thoughts of her, I look back at her: her eyes are concentrated on the piece of paper in front of, staring at it as though it might give away the answer. Though I know I have a test to take myself, and any glances in her direction could get us both in trouble, my logic is no longer present as I just keep staring.

She looks up instantly and right at me: I've been caught staring, again. Attempting to hide my actions, I flash a quick smile and turn away from her. My pencil touches the paper, ready to write. I have to at least seem like I'm working.

Moving on to the first question, I pause as my mind tries to recall the answer. No… that was in 1965… he didn't come into power until later… I really hope that she loves me back….

Damn, I've got it bad.


	8. One Night Stand?

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime/Otome/Zwei  
Pairing: Chie/Shizuru AU  
Rating: T for sexual stuff and language  
A/N: Um... yeah. I have NO idea where this came from... well actually, I do but, you know. It actually turned out nothing like my outline (reminds me of my English papers) and the ending is COMPLETELY different. I had planned to have a nice sappy ending connecting the rant at the beginning, but it was getting too long and I wasn't so desperatelyinclined to write this is two chapters, so here it is. Oh, I couldn't stop my "humor" from dripping in so I'm sorry if my attempts at being funny aren't actually all that funny. NOTE: I did actually blush a few times when writing this, and I think simply because it's the first time I've written something even kinda explicit so I have no idea how i did. CRITICISM WELCOME!  
Dedication: This is for ManiazAzn, who recommended a Chie/Shizuru pairing. I had a lovely plot bunny with these two running around in my head for a while so it felt good to finally write it. I hope you like it.  


* * *

Clubs, oh the joy they bring to the lonely geeky soul who couldn't get a date otherwise.

Being able to dance with perfect strangers… there's a strange appeal to it and, more importantly, a huge bonus: they don't know you at all. Though seemingly obvious, this allows making a move on someone so much easier. They don't know that you're a geek or a dork or a person who talks too much, or maybe doesn't talk at all, or maybe you have the most annoying laugh or you run the chess club at school: it doesn't matter. All that does matter is the face value, what you want them to see, and as long as you can manipulate that, you're set.

This is why school dances are usually so unsuccessful and the aspiration of many is to be old enough to go clubbing: it's a gold mine of possibilities for one-night stands.

And there rests possibly the only thing wrong with clubs: it's just a fling. It would always be just a fling: that's the most you can get out of a club night. You meet someone, you hang for a bit, kiss, dance, go all the way, whatever your goal, and then it's over, and you never see them again. Even if you do see them again, you hardly know much about the other person except how good of a dancer/kisser they are, not exactly the best base for a relationship.

Because really, when you get down to it, that's all clubs really focus on: a superficial relationship based on looks, ability to dance, and how wonderful a kisser your partner is. It's what it strives on. The entire concept behind going to clubs is that two unknown people can somehow by unknowable means manage to met and get it down. The industry's sole customers are hormones and the desire to hook up.

So what drives hormones? Face value looks, posture, how one carries oneself, etc. It's all superficial, all lust. Sure, I give it to you that some people may come to a club without the intention of meeting someone and getting it on, but it sure is on the majority's mind.

And this leaves no substantial relationship. Besides the obvious, that you never see your dancing/kissing/sex partner again (which usually is a good thing), it really makes no sense to continue such a partnership. Because really, that's all it was: a partnership for one night. It's pure lust, which is – usually – not a good start to a serious relationship.

And that's why there is absolutely no possible way that someone you find at a club can change your life, make you fall in love. Lust can't drive love, you can't learn everything about someone in one night, and there is absolutely no possibility that a random person can make you feel as special as the girl you were dating for three years. It just is impossible.

And you know what? It suits me just fine.

Scanning the crowd, I tried to pick out my friends. I noticed them hanging out with a group of girls in the corner, where I was almost definitely unwanted by my friends because I would "steal their catch" as they put it. Besides, they seemed to be enjoying themselves: at least some of us should have a good time.

It really sucked to not go to a gay bar, but as per usual, I was out voted by my dominantly (geeky) male group of friends. So I'm ditched on the sidelines while my friends go pick up girls and I'm hit on by very unwanted guys.

If I make a moveon a girl, two things will happen: they'll think I'm a guy (short haircut has that effect… though how they miss the breasts I will never know) and totally be into me (at least until they figure out otherwise) and do that whole… "flocking" thing (you know, how if one girl stares, they poke their friend and then all the girls are around me until they realize that I'm not a super attractiveguy, just a wonderfully attractive girl and get totally uninterested and … "un-flock") or they'll realize I'm a girl right off the bat (seriously, it's sad how few actually do) and think it's "friendly" dancing, staying at least a foot away from me at all times as though there was this giant bubble in front of me which they really didn't want to penetrate. Either way, it's a no go eventually.

So I just watch and wait…and bore myself to death. Oh look, a fly landed on that drink, let's watch it because you're a loser without a girl.

I always have a _great_ time.

It seemed that this night would be like all the others, spent noting fly behavior (I think I could write a paper on them by now) and counting the number of songs the DJ repeated (three so far). I sulked in the far corner of the room, slouching on a bar stool against the wall, hands in my pockets, surveying the crowd in front of me. Sure, I could go out there and give some girls a shot but to be rejected over and over again can take a lot outta a person.

Where's my gay bar? I would feel so at home there, able to pull out my vast knowledge of pickup lines and flattery, smiling in the way that makes all the girls swoon, dancing all night long. Yeah, that's where I belong.

Stupid straight male majority of friends.

Sighing for the umpteenth time that evening, I glanced at the clock: two more hours to go.

Suddenly new movement struck me and I noticed a girl with long brown hair (yum!) walking to the center of the room confidently, managing to give everyone a polite smile… including me. A little stunned by her behavior, I lifted up my hand and gave a small wave; she smiled brighter and walked to the bar… and out of my life.

And she was so hot too… aw well, another straight girl who manages to make me smile just thinking about her was gone.

Or so I thought.

I continued staring in her "general direction" (AKA right at her), and it seemed that, having finished at the bar, she was looking around for someone. Her reddish eyes caught mine and she smiled, walking towards me while licking her lips.

Uh… licking her lips?

"Hello." She stated politely, now standing right in front of me. Gesturing to the stool beside me, she asked, "May I sit here?"

Unable to come up with a coherent answer while staring at her beautiful face, I simply nodded and quickly found myself looking at the ground. When had I ever been shy around girls? Around anyone?

She seemed to be enjoying my torment, for she simply looked at me with a devilish smile, clearing making obvious that I was to look at her and get flustered. Attempting to resist her tremendous charm, I stared at her shoes… which unfortunately led me to looking at her calves and then her thighs shown by her tight black mini-shirt and then...

I gulped.

To try and get my mind out of the gutter, I attempted to start a conversation, "So, what's up?"

She gave me a look. "Please don't tell me that you have no better way to start a conversation."

I grimaced: that hurt. "Sorry. Force of habit."

She smiled and spoke, "Very well, then perhaps I shall begin?" She paused for around 2.3 seconds and continued, "I'm Shizuru. Who are you?"

This I could answer. "Chie."

Another look, "No last name?"

Opportunity had come for me to at least score one point. "Nope, same as you."

"Touché." She replied.

And so we began talking the night away, discussing everything from favorite color to what the other was doing here tonight. We easily spent over an hour just talking about nothing. There was no contact, no sweet nothings, and yet, I felt as though we were connected somehow, that there was something between us, something I never felt before. It was warm and comforting, like her laugh (usually at my expense). It felt… nice.

After a long discussion over my hair and glasses, she pulled herself off the stool and grabbed my hand, pulling me. Unsure what was going on, I let her lead me to an empty couch that I never noticed was there, hidden in a tiny knack in besides the bar, away from everyone else unless they entered the alcove themselves. Boy, did I notice it in the weeks to come.

We sat down on the slightly worn down leather couch, and she looked at me with intense red eyes. Thinking she was planning to interrogate me more, I tried to make a natural conversation. "So, what are you favorite hobbies?"

She smiled that devilish smile of hers that didn't fit her exterior at all. "You really want to find out?"

What was going on? She couldn't possibly… no… there is no way….

"Uh, sure," I replied nervously… this was either going to be really good or really bad.

She licked her lips. "This."

And suddenly the world flipped over and I floated.

It began slowly, as all good things do. She hesitantly pushed her lips onto mine; apply little pressure, wondering how I would react. Needless to say, I was at home when I began pushing my body back towards her. I pushed my mouth more into hers, savoring the flavor or her lips and… shit, was that her tongue? Yes, goddamn that was her tongue, this was unbelievable. My hands, unsure of what to do, broke free from the surprise and began to roam her hair, which seriously was so smooth that I could have sworn it was silk.

To sum it up, it was the really good option.

Her hands had found themselves pulling me closer than we already were, closing any gap of space there was between us. The room (as well as myself) began to heat up as we both fought for dominance over the other. Normally, this was where I would push her down onto the couch, and begin nipping her neck. I obviously needed to get a reality check.

She pushed me back down onto the couch so that she was completely on top of me and stared straight at me. Her smaller frame pushed into me completely, her hips pushing to my midsection.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise," I commented as her face began to soften and smile peacefully.

"Let's just kiss again." She stated, not as a command but a suggestion.

"Agreed." I shut up after that.

Pushing against me, her hands running around my body, I began to moan as she started to kiss down my neck, nipping some parts and then licking others. It was a pleasure indescribable to any man (and I felt great knowing that statement was probably true simply because no man has probably felt this). I've kissed my fair share of girls but none, not one, ever made me feel like she made me feel in that moment.

I felt as though I was the luckiest girl in the world to have this beautiful, wonderful, amazing girl kissing me. It was a pleasure that was as close to bliss that it could be; perhaps it was bliss itself. She was polite outside, wonderfully complex inside, and a brilliant kisser. There simply couldn't be a more perfect girl in the entire world, and I was the lucky bastard who got her for this one night.

Right… it was for only one night. Reality hit me and suddenly I pushed her off. She gave me an unreadable face, as though not sure what to say or what to expect.

"This is lust, right?"

Apparently, my question caught her by complete surprise. She didn't answer.

I repeated myself, "This is lust, right? There's no love in here, is there?"

She looked straight at me and asked, "Isn't that for you to decide?"

Was it? Was it my decision? It couldn't be. The philosophy of clubs was against me. How could you fall in love with anyone without knowing their favorite color (purple), favorite place to go on the weekends (stays at home), favorite everything? And even if you knew that, was it possible to love someone without knowing their last name? Even if you could, the probability that I ever meet her again was so slim that she may as well disappear.

It couldn't be love, and if not love, it has to be lust. There is no other option…. Right?

She must have noticed my absence of speech, for she started to pull herself and walk away. I grabbed her wrist and looked up at her with pleading eyes.

She wasn't getting out of my life so easily.

She smiled softly and sat back down. "What is it?"

I looked at her desperately, "I'm just... really confused right now. I dunno what's going on." I began to stare off into space.

"You know," she spoke, causing me to look at her, "You don't have to figure it out tonight."

I gave her a confused look. "I don't?"

"Of course not," She shook her head. "We could meet again."

This was a one-night stand. That's all clubs produce: no love, no long term happiness, just a series of one-night stands. "When? How? It goes against the –"

"We could meet here nest week, this club this time." She paused and chuckled as she saw by bewildered face. "Not so hard to meet again, huh?"

I smiled at her brilliance and mentally scolded myself for my idiocy. Right, we could always meet again, no worries. Sure, it was against the norm to meet again, but hey, if you click, don't fight it. I nodded and spoke calmly, "Next week then?"

"Sure." She returned my question with a smile.

It was then that two idiotic boys decided to walk up to us. I assume they didn't realize that we were together (at least, I think/hope) and were totally not interested.

"Um…" began the first, obviously nervous in asking a beautiful girl like Shizuru. I possessively slid my arm around her waist, which, though making Shizuru's eyebrows shoot up and give me a smile, didn't faze the boys.

The second finally got the courage. "Could we watch you two make out again?"

Apparently I underestimated the perverseness of the human male.

Shizuru and I looked at each other before laughing and getting up. We walked off together, arm in arm, as the boys looked at us walking away.

One looked at the other and asked, "Would that be a no?"


	9. Do You Love Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Mai Hime  
Pairing: Chie/Aoi  
Rating: K since I really actually see nothing wrong with this... surprisingly  
A/N: One would think that having nothing to do and it being summer, I would have written more by now but nooo...I blame my friends for getting me hooked on TV shows. Anyway, this actually is a small little drabble that has been lingering on my computer for a while now, and it really should be posted so... here it is! I know (well, figured not so much as know) that my last two stories weren't as great as some of my others, and I will try to bring the quality up. Any recommendations or suggestions are welcome and graciously accepted.

* * *

"Chie, do you love me?"

Silence filled the space between them. Never before has the space between them feel so massive.

It had always been understood, something they both assumed as truth, but putting it into words… that had never been done before. It was new ground to cover, and it unknowingly allowed new doubts to rise.

It was one thing to touch and cuddle and make love, but another thing entirely to admit to oneself that, yes, above anything else, they cared about a person's well being more than their own: it was tough to admit love. Not that they didn't wait to but… why bother with words?

For once, words would speak louder than actions.

"Chie…?" Aoi's doubts began to grow more and more: the lack of response made her uneasy.

Taking a big breath, Chie responded, "I don't know."

Aoi heartbroken eyes looked her lover in the face.

"I don't know if I love you because I don't know what love is. Is it longing to see a person? Is it the drive to make them feel safe and hold them forever? Is it the wish to make them smile? And if it is any of those, how do you know you truly feel that way? To me, it seems as though "love" is indefinable, and therefore I am unable to tell you if I love you."

Silence as Chie stroked her chin and thought about how to end on a good note.

"However, if love is the longing to see a person, the drive to make that one person feel safe and happy for all entirely, and the wish to hold that special someone for all entirety, then, yes, I do love you. I would love you with every fiber of my body."

Aoi cuddled into her lover more, as the arms around her waist pulled her closer to the intoxicating smell. Well, that sort of answer was to be expected, and all doubts buried themselves in the furthest corner of her mind.

She smiled as she commented, "the 'every fiber of my body' was pushing it."

Confused, Chie replied, "You think? Maybe it was too much…"

Aoi nodded. "Way too much, and kind of cliché."

The other smiled. "Note to self: 'every fiber of my body' is a no-no…. Is 'all my soul' still okay?"

"It's always okay, as long as it's true."

"Ah, good: No worries then, since it will always be true."


End file.
